Tag archive for "spiritual seekers"

Just for Fun, Life Coaching, Spirituality & Transformation

You Might be Spiritually Neurotic if…

1 Comment 07 March 2011

You Might be Spiritually Neurotic If you..

  • Have more white and purple clothes in your closet than any other color.
  • Know the difference between Ganesha, Gangaji and Gurmukh.
  • Put up your dreamcatcher in a hotel room.
  • Have tried both holo and hemi sync and the theta goggles.
  • Have ever purchased a Q-link, Em-wave, or healing crystals on credit or layaway.
  • Make a wish or another ritual when you see repeating numbers on a clock.
  • Have five or more close friends who are doulas, energy healers, or shamans.
  • Say a prayer of gratitude when you put a key in a lock.
  • Own both the brown Animal totem book and the purple rock/crystal book.
  • Consciously charge or energize popcorn and other snack foods with your hands.
  • Have used a pendulum to dowse a major life decision.
  • Can describe the difference between an angel, archangel, avatar, and ascended master and know a few by name.
  • Have a special bindi you like to wear for kirtan.
  • Have your own energy worker, astrologer and animal intuitive.
  • Require your friends and family to call you by your spiritual name.
  • Know when to use the rose quartz and when to use the smoky quartz.
  • Have helped at, camped at, or somehow greased your way into, a big spiritual workshop or event you couldn’t afford.
  • Have  a medicine pouch either in your car or on your person.
  • Have feathers or white sage in your car or bathroom.
  • Have slept out for Amma.
  • Have done the spiritual triple crown: Bali, India, and Esalen.
  • Own both the hardcover and softcover versions of ACIM.
  • Regularly travel with your own incense, mala, singing bowl, tingshaws, or zafu.
  • Play either crystal bowls, a harmonium, or digiredoo or tabla.
  • Know the difference between sri and zri.
  • Know your sun, moon, and rising sign.
  • Prefer to buy or price things in multiples of 9 or that add up to 9 ($108).
  • You use phrases like “cut cords”,  “held space”, “star seeds” or “twin flames”.
  • Check the Vedic astrology to make sure it is “in the flow”
  • Have “grounded” your car.
  • Have run up a Sounds True bill higher than  your grocery bill.
  • Resonating with someone or something is both the Alpha and the Omega.
  • Feel uncomfortable when someone handles your mala.
  • Have the words Light, Star, Love, or Rainbow in your email address or online dating profile.
  • Have aspirations to build a better Burning Manor Rainbow Gathering camp next year.


Scoring System

0-5: Answering yes to 0-5 indicates a very low level of spiritually neurotic activity and behavior. I have no idea how you found me and my website. Spirit must be playing  a trick on you.

6-10: You are beginning to develop mild spiritual affectations and energetic sensitivities, but there may still be hope to re-enter mainstream society if you move back to the midwest. Fast.

11-15: Code Indigo (6th Chakra): Your daily life and spiritual life have begun to blur into a smear. You are beginning to show clear signs of being an odd duck in a queer pond and have begun the dismantling process or your regular waking life.

16-20: Code Orange (2nd Chakra):  You don’t just do this on Sunday mornings. You speak the lingo and know the secret handshake. You are also past the point of return. Get into the body for the next plunge down the rabbit hole.

21-26: Code Red: (1st Chakra): Spiritual hardcore.  If you aren’t one of my coaching clients yet we should talk. This is the final push. You likely either live on the West Coast or in a van down by the river. Fortunately for you, your sangha does too so you don’t care anymore.

27-32: Code White (TP Point): The only difference between someone who is enlightened and one who isn’t is the one who is enlightened knows there is no difference. You are There and You Are That. Congratulations. The Paranormal is your new normal and you have come full circle.

Nobody else understands you but since there are no Others in your dimension of experience Its all Good.  Thanks for being you.

Also see: you might be nutritionally neurotic if…

Spirituality & Transformation

Spiritual Seeking for Fun and Profit

No Comments 05 March 2011

Or..going for broke spiritually without going broke financially.

Or..why the Eckhart Tolle park bench and spiritual shabby chic is way overrated.

These are a few of my tips and recommendations from 23 years as a sometimes earnest, sometimes disenchanted, often dazed and confused consciousness cosmonaut and spiritual polyamorist.

A few breadcrumbs as you make your way down the spiritual path.

Tip 1:Don’t dabble. Don’t try to squeeze it in on the weekends or 2 weeks a year on vacation. Follow the sage advice of Sri Ramakrishna who said, “Do not seek illumination unless you seek it as a man whose hair is on fire seeks a pond.” Throw yourself completely into the spiritual washing machine tosses you out. As quickly as possible get over the idea that it is out there..there is no out there out there.

Cure the addiction to spiritual seeking the way some people do with smoking–chain-smoke the whole dang carton in the car in the garage until the thought of ever going to another workshop again makes you feel sick. Up-level your addictions to things that are at least partly wholesome and light-filled and then let release those too.

Tip 2: Don’t Forget the Inner Journey
Of the Buddha’s Three Jewels (buddha, dharma, and sangha) the most important of all in his view was sangha. And you
will find fellowship and friends at retreats, conferences, workshops and other spiritual gatherings but the real spiritual journey is the 18 inches from your head to your heart. For some that is a solo journey, others find the passageway through comnitted relationship.

Tip 3: Give Yourself Permission to Float and be Soulfish
Be clear about what you are up to..tell your friends and family up front that you are going to be a spiritual self-obsessed odd one for a while until either your money, cultural conditioning, or resistance wears out.

Tip 4: Don’t over-rely on invisible means of support. As spiritual as it may seem to renounce all your worldlies, American culture doesn’t support or even acknowledge 21st century sadhus. Being a spiritualized poverty case can make you sensitive to all the wrong things. It’s not more spiritual to be poor and living on a park bench for two years won’t make you Eckhart Tolle. The New Earth needs karma yogis who can live powerfully in the material and spiritual and bridge both worlds.

Tip 5: When the going gets weird the weird turn pro.
I’ve made a semi-professional lifestyle out of traveling in spiritual/transformational circles with evolved and conscious beings. You can too. There is a temptation with consciousness exploration or spiritual practice to get more and more extreme or esoteric or weird in pursuit of truth..its not better or worse, just weirder, and a symptom of being what is affectionately known as a “bliss junkie” or monkey.

Because more and more people are opening to new dimensions and realities of being, lots of spiritually powerful places and techniques are really exploding in popularity. That means they are hiring and you can work in exchange for attendance/room/board or real money. Might as well get paid to be who you are, do what you love, and actually live like you are on retreat or in a conscious loving workshop 24/7, instead of having peak experiences and post-workshop traumatic stress disorder when you slink back to your cubicle like an occupational veal calf.

Likely Stops on the Journey of the Peace Pilgrim

Yes, the “path” is a pathless one, a gateless gate, a journey and not a destination..and still..there are space/time coordinates where other peace pilgrims and members of our tribe are likely to gather. These are a few to help focus your spiritual wanderings.

Groovy Workshop/Seminar Places Where People will Love on You No Matter What

  • Esalen Institute
  • Omega
  • Hollyhock
  • Feathered Pipe
  • Harbin Hot Springs
  • Findhorn
  • Mount Madonna
  • Nine Gates Mystery School

Conferences & Events With the Vibe

  • Bhakti Fest
  • Burning Man
  • The Rainbow Gathering
  • Yoga Journal Conferences

Buddhist/Meditative Havens & Sanctuaries

  • Spirit Rock
  • Plum Village
  • Dhamma Vipassana
  • Deer Park
  • Green Gulch
  • Tasajara

Where the Energy/Healing/Intuitive Types Go

  • Carolyn Myss
  • Barbara Brennan
  • John of God
  • Theta Healing

Where the Cerebral Types Go

  • Integral Studies
  • Alan Watts
  • Andrew Cohen
  • Ken Wilber
  • Robert Thurman

Where the Movement and Yoga Types Go

  • Kripalu
  • Yoga Journal Conference
  • Moving Center School
  • Nia Now
  • Five Rhythms

Spiritual Colleges and Universities

  • California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS)
  • Institute of Transpersonal Psychology (ITP)
  • Maharishi University of Management (MUM)
  • Naropa University
  • Pacifica Graduate Institute
  • University of Santa Monica (USM)

Spiritual Mentors & Teachers

  • Adyashanti
  • Byron Katie
  • Eckhart Tolle
  • Gangaji
  • Jeddah Mali


Tools & Techniques

  • The Hoffman Process
  • The Sedona Method
  • The Diamond Approach
  • Holotropic Breathwork
  • The Work

Enjoy the journey! Feel free to share your experiences and recommendations here.

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