Tag archive for "david deida"

Just for Fun, Life Coaching

My Fear of Being Vir: Musings on the New Masculinity

No Comments 25 April 2011

I avoided moving to California for a long while, partly because it was Mill Valley and I had this irrational fear about becoming a mousey, mossy, androgynous Randy-o- the-Redwoods spiritual drifter. I was a solid and peak-bagging mountain man and wanted to keep that rocky mountain edge.  In retrospect, I see that I didn’t trust my water nature and emotional self enough to make the leap until I had a compelling reason and community to dive into.

If you haven’t seen “The Man from Marin” and Vir, I will include a link to it here below so you can have some context for what shape that fear might take:

The Man From Marin

I have since embraced my inner Vir, or at least made a kind of truce and acceptance of that flavor of masculine expression.  I’m still warming up to the other end of the spectrum, that sort of militant rigidity some men get after a men’s weekend orwatching too much cage fighting or learning tips and tricks from the PUA community. I am still working on embracing my inner tough guy.

A couple conscious man resources:

No list of feminine/masculine writings would be complete without mentioning David Deida. I really love the Way of the Superior Man and Blue Truth. They are great articulations of polarity and spiritual partnership. He also has a good DVD of a live workshop in Australia that I had but have lost track of.

Another is the podcast and blog The New Man by Tripp Lanier. The tagline of the site is “Beyond the Macho Jerk and the New Age Wimp”.

I can definitely relate to that balancing act…teetering somewhere between Veer and Mike Tyson. To clarify: I am teetering in jeans and not in bell-bottomed Lululemon pants.

Spirituality & Transformation

Spiritual Seeking for Fun and Profit

No Comments 05 March 2011

Or..going for broke spiritually without going broke financially.

Or..why the Eckhart Tolle park bench and spiritual shabby chic is way overrated.

These are a few of my tips and recommendations from 23 years as a sometimes earnest, sometimes disenchanted, often dazed and confused consciousness cosmonaut and spiritual polyamorist.

A few breadcrumbs as you make your way down the spiritual path.

Tip 1:Don’t dabble. Don’t try to squeeze it in on the weekends or 2 weeks a year on vacation. Follow the sage advice of Sri Ramakrishna who said, “Do not seek illumination unless you seek it as a man whose hair is on fire seeks a pond.” Throw yourself completely into the spiritual washing machine tosses you out. As quickly as possible get over the idea that it is out there..there is no out there out there.

Cure the addiction to spiritual seeking the way some people do with smoking–chain-smoke the whole dang carton in the car in the garage until the thought of ever going to another workshop again makes you feel sick. Up-level your addictions to things that are at least partly wholesome and light-filled and then let release those too.

Tip 2: Don’t Forget the Inner Journey
Of the Buddha’s Three Jewels (buddha, dharma, and sangha) the most important of all in his view was sangha. And you
will find fellowship and friends at retreats, conferences, workshops and other spiritual gatherings but the real spiritual journey is the 18 inches from your head to your heart. For some that is a solo journey, others find the passageway through comnitted relationship.

Tip 3: Give Yourself Permission to Float and be Soulfish
Be clear about what you are up to..tell your friends and family up front that you are going to be a spiritual self-obsessed odd one for a while until either your money, cultural conditioning, or resistance wears out.

Tip 4: Don’t over-rely on invisible means of support. As spiritual as it may seem to renounce all your worldlies, American culture doesn’t support or even acknowledge 21st century sadhus. Being a spiritualized poverty case can make you sensitive to all the wrong things. It’s not more spiritual to be poor and living on a park bench for two years won’t make you Eckhart Tolle. The New Earth needs karma yogis who can live powerfully in the material and spiritual and bridge both worlds.

Tip 5: When the going gets weird the weird turn pro.
I’ve made a semi-professional lifestyle out of traveling in spiritual/transformational circles with evolved and conscious beings. You can too. There is a temptation with consciousness exploration or spiritual practice to get more and more extreme or esoteric or weird in pursuit of truth..its not better or worse, just weirder, and a symptom of being what is affectionately known as a “bliss junkie” or monkey.

Because more and more people are opening to new dimensions and realities of being, lots of spiritually powerful places and techniques are really exploding in popularity. That means they are hiring and you can work in exchange for attendance/room/board or real money. Might as well get paid to be who you are, do what you love, and actually live like you are on retreat or in a conscious loving workshop 24/7, instead of having peak experiences and post-workshop traumatic stress disorder when you slink back to your cubicle like an occupational veal calf.

Likely Stops on the Journey of the Peace Pilgrim

Yes, the “path” is a pathless one, a gateless gate, a journey and not a destination..and still..there are space/time coordinates where other peace pilgrims and members of our tribe are likely to gather. These are a few to help focus your spiritual wanderings.

Groovy Workshop/Seminar Places Where People will Love on You No Matter What

  • Esalen Institute
  • Omega
  • Hollyhock
  • Feathered Pipe
  • Harbin Hot Springs
  • Findhorn
  • Mount Madonna
  • Nine Gates Mystery School

Conferences & Events With the Vibe

  • Bhakti Fest
  • Burning Man
  • The Rainbow Gathering
  • Yoga Journal Conferences

Buddhist/Meditative Havens & Sanctuaries

  • Spirit Rock
  • Plum Village
  • Dhamma Vipassana
  • Deer Park
  • Green Gulch
  • Tasajara

Where the Energy/Healing/Intuitive Types Go

  • Carolyn Myss
  • Barbara Brennan
  • John of God
  • Theta Healing

Where the Cerebral Types Go

  • Integral Studies
  • Alan Watts
  • Andrew Cohen
  • Ken Wilber
  • Robert Thurman

Where the Movement and Yoga Types Go

  • Kripalu
  • Yoga Journal Conference
  • Moving Center School
  • Nia Now
  • Five Rhythms

Spiritual Colleges and Universities

  • California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS)
  • Institute of Transpersonal Psychology (ITP)
  • Maharishi University of Management (MUM)
  • Naropa University
  • Pacifica Graduate Institute
  • University of Santa Monica (USM)

Spiritual Mentors & Teachers

  • Adyashanti
  • Byron Katie
  • Eckhart Tolle
  • Gangaji
  • Jeddah Mali

 

Tools & Techniques

  • The Hoffman Process
  • The Sedona Method
  • The Diamond Approach
  • Holotropic Breathwork
  • The Work

Enjoy the journey! Feel free to share your experiences and recommendations here.


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