Tag archive for "conscious manifesto"

Just for Fun, Life Coaching

My Fear of Being Vir: Musings on the New Masculinity

No Comments 25 April 2011

I avoided moving to California for a long while, partly because it was Mill Valley and I had this irrational fear about becoming a mousey, mossy, androgynous Randy-o- the-Redwoods spiritual drifter. I was a solid and peak-bagging mountain man and wanted to keep that rocky mountain edge.  In retrospect, I see that I didn’t trust my water nature and emotional self enough to make the leap until I had a compelling reason and community to dive into.

If you haven’t seen “The Man from Marin” and Vir, I will include a link to it here below so you can have some context for what shape that fear might take:

The Man From Marin

I have since embraced my inner Vir, or at least made a kind of truce and acceptance of that flavor of masculine expression.  I’m still warming up to the other end of the spectrum, that sort of militant rigidity some men get after a men’s weekend orwatching too much cage fighting or learning tips and tricks from the PUA community. I am still working on embracing my inner tough guy.

A couple conscious man resources:

No list of feminine/masculine writings would be complete without mentioning David Deida. I really love the Way of the Superior Man and Blue Truth. They are great articulations of polarity and spiritual partnership. He also has a good DVD of a live workshop in Australia that I had but have lost track of.

Another is the podcast and blog The New Man by Tripp Lanier. The tagline of the site is “Beyond the Macho Jerk and the New Age Wimp”.

I can definitely relate to that balancing act…teetering somewhere between Veer and Mike Tyson. To clarify: I am teetering in jeans and not in bell-bottomed Lululemon pants.

Just for Fun

Everything I Know I’ve Learned from Women

6 Comments 25 April 2011

Klimt Hope II

…or, more precisely, from the Divine Feminine in all of its aspects, including Ma Nature. I grew up mainly with my mother and sister, and in the mountains and streams of Colorado. The things I have loved most in my life had a radiant and light-filled quality, and I was always drawn to where light gathered. It tends to collect and pool around the feminine and all natural forms.

Everything I know I’ve learned from the mothers and the grandmothers. This is my rampage of appreciation for the feminine–for their forbearance and grace in the face of overwhelming challenges, prejudices, and atrocities that were elucidated in the Manifesto for Conscious Men.

As a portrait photographer and being-based life coach, I spend a lot of time attention on giving form to essence, which is essentially genderless and birthless and deathless and never has a bad hair day. But as a carnal and incarnate man I can also appreciate the shapes and forms that essence takes in feminine form. Let me count just a few of the ways in which I am grateful to this beautiful and divine reflection.

  • I appreciate the earthiness and low to the ground hipstrength of the feminine, and what David Whyte calls its no-nonsense compassion, how it leans into pain and difficulty.
  • I love how the feminine connects and communes to all beings equally and simultaneously with a sweet and diffuse awareness.
  • I love the feminine’s capacity for joy and laughing at life’s foibles.
  • I love the ferocity and strength of the feminine and how beautiful it is when it is claimed and expressed.
  • I love the tempestuousness and swirliness of the feminine and it’s capacity to be four seasons in one day.
  • I love the multi-sensory, multi-dimensionality quality of the feminine and it’s sensitivity to the unseen realms.
  • I love the feminine relationship to work..they don’t seem to over-identify and lose themselves in it like I do.
  • I love the supple fluidity and occasionally demure quality of feminine grace.
  • I love feminine silence.
  • I love how the feminine expresses nuance, texture and variety in form and in the way it appreciates that form. The  pageantry and celebration and costume changes for their own sake.
  • I love how patient and wise the feminine is in opening my own inner aperture and landscape to what is possible.

Most of all I love the divine feminine for the ways it entices, cajoles, eludes, dances, shines, attracts, confronts, and rests in life as life and draws all to her and from her, with an in the bones acceptance and poise.

So to all the women out there, Happy Mothers Day, whether you have birthed a biped this lifetime or not.

See the related post: My Fear of Being Veer: Reflections on the New Masculinity.


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