Just for Fun, Life Coaching

My Fear of Being Vir: Musings on the New Masculinity

0 Comments 25 April 2011

I avoided moving to California for a long while, partly because it was Mill Valley and I had this irrational fear about becoming a mousey, mossy, androgynous Randy-o- the-Redwoods spiritual drifter. I was a solid and peak-bagging mountain man and wanted to keep that rocky mountain edge.  In retrospect, I see that I didn’t trust my water nature and emotional self enough to make the leap until I had a compelling reason and community to dive into.

If you haven’t seen “The Man from Marin” and Vir, I will include a link to it here below so you can have some context for what shape that fear might take:

The Man From Marin

I have since embraced my inner Vir, or at least made a kind of truce and acceptance of that flavor of masculine expression.  I’m still warming up to the other end of the spectrum, that sort of militant rigidity some men get after a men’s weekend orwatching too much cage fighting or learning tips and tricks from the PUA community. I am still working on embracing my inner tough guy.

A couple conscious man resources:

No list of feminine/masculine writings would be complete without mentioning David Deida. I really love the Way of the Superior Man and Blue Truth. They are great articulations of polarity and spiritual partnership. He also has a good DVD of a live workshop in Australia that I had but have lost track of.

Another is the podcast and blog The New Man by Tripp Lanier. The tagline of the site is “Beyond the Macho Jerk and the New Age Wimp”.

I can definitely relate to that balancing act…teetering somewhere between Veer and Mike Tyson. To clarify: I am teetering in jeans and not in bell-bottomed Lululemon pants.

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